When your Christian walk is more of a limp

When your Christian walk is more of a limp

I hope you don’t think I’m running like the wind and leaping over life’s obstacles in a single bound. When your Christian walk is more of a limp, you may think someone else’s walk is easy or successful, you are wrong. We’re all in this struggle together.


I heard the pop when my lower right leg twisted West and my body went South. Chunks of snow burned my face as I sat on the slope amidst what looked like a yard sale of skis and poles. Not realizing I was hurt, everyone sped downhill except my daughter who helped me up. I snugged my ankle against my other leg and skied down the mountain, grimacing all the way. Three incisions and six weeks of physical therapy later, I was back to “normal.” Except not.

Prov 4:12,” When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run, you will not stumble.” NKJV

Immobility weakened my quadriceps and despite the therapy, I had a long way to go. So I went to the gym. A personal trainer worked with me through pain and sweat to strengthen my legs. When I went skiing the following year, I was stronger than ever. You see, that’s how it works. Exercising weak muscles makes them stronger. Exercising weak faith makes it stronger too.

I was tempted to avoid the pain, give up and sit in a chair. I certainly had a valid excuse. But training and effort got me back on track so it was worth it.

How strong are you?

Whether I’ve shared advice on forgiveness, anxiety or joy, you may have gotten the impression I have it all figured out. If so, then I owe you an apology. For full disclosure you need to know, my advice is tested and proven only in my own life. No doubt my life is a living example of overcoming adversity, so at least I’ll take a little credit for knowing what I’m talking about.

Psalm 119:45, “I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments.” NLT

Formulas don’t work

There is no formula for walking in victory. Nothing could be farther from the truth and rarely does anything work the first time you try it.

Follow my advice on FORGIVENESS – it won’t work

Implement my recommendations for dealing with and ANXIETY – you’ll still be tied up in a ball of knots.

Choose JOY – I seriously doubt you will find it.

So what gives?


Practice makes perfect, better yet, perfect practice makes perfect. Open your Bible and nothing changed in your life? Open it again. Prayed the same prayer over and over with no visible results? Do it again. Still believing when evidence says don’t? Keep the faith, keep walking, even if it looks more like a limp.

Psalm 128:1, “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!” ESV

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again

Consider every failure an opportunity to try again #perservere #endure Click To Tweet
 Never quit

That’s the secret. When your walk is more of a limp, hang in there. Keep on keeping on, it’s the only way to walk in victory.

Psalm 119:1, “You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions. ” MSG

When you want your prayers answered now

When you want your prayers answered now

Do you ever feel like Veruca Salt? Sure patience is a virtue, but I imagine we can all relate to the spoiled brat who shouted at Willy Wonka,

I want it and I want it now!

As I look down the road of my present circumstance, it stretches long before me and no matter how things turn out it’s all uphill without an exit in sight. If I could change it I would, but

I can’t.

If it were up to me, I would slam on the brakes, get out of the vehicle, change directions and leave this crash course I’m living. But,

it’s not up to me.

Some days I sing Veruca’s song

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter, Ten thousand tons of ice cream, And if I don’t get the things I am after,

I’m going to screeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEAM.

I may or may not have given in the urge to scream a few times, but

it never did any good.

Some days I even pray like Veruca

I want a flying glass elevator; I want a golden goose; give me that pen; I want to be first; get me one of those squirrels; I want one!

Only it’s not a glass elevator, golden goose, squirrel or a pen. But,

my desires to please myself are the same.

I want what I want and I want it now. Honestly, I still want to scream. Instead God says WAIT.

Psalm 37:7, “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” NLT

He says TRUST

Psalm 118, “It is better to trust in the Lord than put confidence in man.” NKJV

He says SUBMIT

Proverbs 3:6, “In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” NIV

Straight paths aren’t really what I’m worried about; it’s the rough terrain that’s killing me. Peace always comes when I settle into the ride, put my feet on the dashboard and let God navigate. I may even lean my head back and close my eyes while He steers. After all, He knows where we are going and how to get there and I trust He really does know best.


Veruca’s parents indulged her every whim because they valued her happiness above her well-being. Ultimately, she was destroyed because she got what she wanted. I don’t want to be Veruca.

Maybe unanswered prayers are God's way of withholding harm rather than good #Godknowsbest… Click To Tweet

Besides, as Willy Wonka said,

I thought a veruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a wart, so I choose to be satisfied with what I have, surrender to God’s best plan for my life and follow hard after Him. I want what He wants and I want to go where He goes. He knows the way and He is the way..

Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” ESV


When the ending isn’t what you expected

FUN, she said it would be fun. Boy was she was wrong, it was anything but fun.

Where is God when your prayers go unanswered?

Didn’t you believe enough?

The question came through my website, but if you looked at my face you would have seen my eyes shift. You know, that right brain/left brain stuff. People unconsciously look one way when recalling a memory and another way when formulating an idea. Liars look in their brains between recollection and fabrication and their eyes shift back and forth. Dead give-away, every time. Not saying I’m lying, I’m just trying to figure out how to answer.

As part of a blog share, I reposted a link to my “word” of the year. Another writer noticed the post was from last year so she asked,

How did it end? It’s always fun to know the ending.

Well, not always….

Last year I chose BELIEVE as my “word.” I hoped I could believe God and see a miracle. Like Abraham, to believe even in an impossible situation. He believed Sarah’s dead womb would produce new life against all hope. Never doubting despite the logic, or lack thereof. I still want to believe like that.

Romans 4:18, “Against all hope, Abraham believed…” NIV

If you only have enough faith…

I thought I could believe without wavering, but I crumbled. Nothing really turned out the way I expected. I’m not a “name it and claim it” Christian, but geez, I thought if I trusted God then at least the basic fabric of my life was salvageable.

I believe
The problem with the prosperity gospel is reality, oh yeah, and the truth of God's word… Click To Tweet

It’s not that I gave up, it’s just that nothing happened, well, nothing good anyway. Bad got worse and the agonal breath of hope seemed final, then I heard Jesus speak. Actually he spoke to Martha and it’s recorded in the Bible, but I read it and the question applied.

John 11:25-26, “Jesus said to her, …’Do you believe this?'” HCSB

Jesus was a no-show while Martha watched her brother die. Then Jesus said his sickness wouldn’t end in death, but he died anyway: cold, pale,lifeless, decaying, dead. But even in their disappointment and sorrow, the sisters professed their belief in the resurrection power of Jesus Christ.

What about me?

Vickie, do you believe this?

What about you?

______________, do you believe this?”

Believe what?

Believe God is able to do exceedingly more than anything we can think or imagine

Believe God is our portion and prize and He is enough

Believe God works all things for our good

Believe God has a plan to give us hope and a future

Believe dead things are brought to life by the resurrection power of Christ

I believe, but…
Where are you Lord?

I believe, but Jesus hasn’t shown up to rescue me yet. Meanwhile, I’m over here doing chest compressions and counting breaths in a futile effort to bring dead things to life. Can somebody bring the crash cart please? I’ve squeezed more than a few Ambu bags and watched life-giving oxygen bring cyanotic newborns to life. Unfortunately, I’ve also stood helpless in the corner of the emergency room while a lifeless body never responded to vigorous pumping on the chest. Might I add, I’ve watched life slip away while families knelt on the cold, tile floor and cried out to the Lord.

John 11:32. “…Lord, if only you had been here…” NLT

Where are you Lord?

I believe

Sarah’s womb was shriveled, Lazarus flat-lined, Jesus was dead and my life, well some aspects just decayed. What about you? Do you need to check a pulse on your faith? Maybe your physical illness is terminal or your emotional illness is hopeless or you think your spirit needs to check-in to hospice care, but is it the end? You see, Jesus didn’t say Lazarus wouldn’t die, He said it wasn’t the end.

Romans 4:17, “…God..who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.” ESV

As I cradle the fragile pieces of my broken life, I ask tough questions,

“Where are you Lord?”

“Is it dead?”

“Is this how it ends?”

Jesus asks tough questions right back at me,

“Do you believe?”

“Am I enough?”

Mark 9:24, “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” NKJV

So no, it wasn’t FUN how it turned out, but I guess it deserves an ending.

Maybe you’re still waiting for Jesus to show up. Can I tell you what I’ve learned? Jesus doesn’t come late. He still has the power to bring dead things to life. After all faith is believing in things unseen.

I believe

Help me overcome my unbelief

Are you afraid of God?



Normally, I’m not scared. But lately, I’m pretty rattled. What about you? Are you afraid of God?

I’ve noticed a common fabric of tragedy, victimization and loss weaves through testimonies of God’s faithfulness and power. It scares me to death.

Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” HCSB


Years ago I finally said it out loud and felt some relief. “I am afraid of what God will require of me.” My kids were young when I first dug into the word through in-depth Bible study. I sensed God calling but was afraid of what He would require. So I withheld the chunks of my heart I was unwilling to surrender. I’m still not whole, but twenty years later I’m painfully aware of what He requires and that’s why I’m afraid.

He’s a scary God

Proverbs 2:5, “Then you will understand the ‘fear of the Lord’ and discover the knowledge of God.” HCSB


A testimony is proof of the existence of something. Maybe that’s why a public declaration of the realness of God’s presence springs from depths of great loss. There is proof in loving the unlovable, forgiving the unforgivable and having peace despite heartbreaking circumstances. Some days I’m not sure I want a testimony because I know what it entails.

Are you afraid of a God who wants your whole heart?

Jeremiah 29:13, “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” NKJV


If you've ever typed amen to receive a blessing, you may need a new religion #truth Click To Tweet

Hate to break it to you, but Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.” My world is brimming with troubles and tests. Maybe you can relate. The real test in testimony is whether or not you will let God use your trials for your good and His glory.

The real test in testimony is whether or not you will let God use your trials for your good and… Click To Tweet

Remember, the alternative is let Satan hold bitterness and self-pity, condemnation and shame, or sin and rebellion over your head. If you’ve blown it and you’re still running, listen here to my pastor’s sermons about our God who gives second chances.

What’s your testimony?

Genesis 50:20, “As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil,” TLB


There is a prayer the Lord always honors, but it’s scary. Great peace comes from praying, “Whatever Lord,” but it’s costly. Jesus prayed, “Thy will be done.” God’s will involved gruesome suffering for His beloved son. What if involves suffering for me too? Am I willing to surrender? Yeah sometimes, then I take it back. God and I have been playing tug-of-war for months now and I’d like to say I’m ready, but God scares me with His questions:

Do you want …..

Are you willing….

What if it takes….

He’s not safe

I trust God like never before. His plans for me are better than any plans I could make for myself;

I trust Him

But he scares me

I’m afraid of  God

Are you?

Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…”Safe?” said Mr Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. ~ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe C.S. Lewis

Proverbs 19:23, “The fear of the LORD leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil.” NASB



Stop trying to be a one-woman team

This problem parked itself in the middle of my life and refused to budge. Callouses covered my knees, pages of my Bible hung by slivers and my supply of index cards was bigger than Staples. My stomach rumbled from fasting and recording prayers drained ink from my pen. I collected enough advice to write my own book .

It’s never enough

I’m a one-woman ball team: up to bat, snag my own line drive, throw the ball to myself to make the out. Dust billows as I slide into the plate, single-handedly covering all the bases.

Still, I haven’t scored a single run

“I am tired coach, can you put me on the bench?”

I can’t control anything; I can’t even control myself. I beg God,

Deliver me
Help me
Change others
Solve my problems
Heal my diseases


I forgot.

Who’s on first?

Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be provided for you.” HCSB

Maybe I only need to cover home plate.

His kingdom…

Mostly, I cry out to God about my own disheveled kingdom. Don’t get me wrong, my problems aren’t trivial; likely neither are yours, but the outcome doesn’t depend on my effort.

God whispered to my heart,

That’s enough

Actually, He is enough

You and I are not God, so stop it

Stop trying to be a one-woman show

Psalm 62:1-2, “God, the one and only-I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I need comes from him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul, an impregnable castle: I’m set for life.” MSG

On Christ the solid rock I stand

All other ground is sinking sand

God won’t let me take one step off of the solid rock. He won’t even let me stick my big toe into the surrounding sand. He alone is able to meet my needs.

You can trust God with the outcome of your kingdom and His because He can handle it. Our position is to love Him with our whole heart. When Jesus Christ is our foundation there is unexplainable peace, in spite of it all.

Seek Him first…

God’s Word is full of promises, but let’s face it, a happy ending to every problem isn’t one of them. Thankfully, we are never separated from the love of Christ, even when life spins out of control, the cancer comes back, the diagnosis is confirmed, the pink slip is delivered, the divorce is final, the money isn’t enough or the death certificate is signed. God is still God, He is still on His throne and His love never fails.

Romans 8:35, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” NIV

It’s game-over when God’s sufficient love is truly better than life. Nothing else matters; not your circumstances, not the outcome and not your kingdom or mine.

Psalm 63:3, “Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you!” NLT

Quit running yourself ragged

Peace rules when the glove comes off; so I quit. No, I won’t quit reading my Bible, praying or clinging to scripture. I’ll quit fighting for myself and my kingdom, because God says seek Him and He will fight for me. Are you exhausted from trying to fix it all? Maybe you need to quit too.

I was never enough anyway

My problem is still parked in the middle of my life, but God said He’s enough, and He is. Now I’ll spend more time praying, reading and worshiping, but I’ll be refreshed rather than depleted. What about that problem parked in your life? God can handle it, but you may have to get out of the way..

Besides, there’s no such thing as a one-woman team 

By the way guys, there’s no such thing as a one-man team either.

The first step is the hardest

The first step is the hardest

The first step is the hardest

My eyes widened as I scanned the room and noticed the sea of heads. Tilting my face upward, I looked at my daddy standing beside me. He pressed his lips into a thin line and reassured me with his warm brown eyes. I recalled his words from the previous day when I admitted this would be difficult.

Take the first step, God will take the rest.

I looked back at the heads. Shades of brown and blonde were accented with the full spectrum of white, silver and gray. If you looked at the right angle, more than a few had a blue tint. The lone redhead near the front perfectly complimented the colors in the stained-glass.
My dad nodded as I glanced up at him once more. He didn’t notice the moisture left by my palms on the pew in front of us. The faded, red carpet seemed to stretch on for miles, but the decision had already been made. I deliberately picked up my right foot and realized it too was sweating inside my white leather sandals.

I took one step

I had no awareness of my legs carrying me down the aisle. In a moment I was standing beside Brother Crumley at the altar. Even on my tiptoes, I was too short to see my parents who were still in their regular seats on the back row.

God took the rest

Acts 2:41, “Then those who gladly received his word were baptized…” NKJV


I felt like I was magically transported down the aisle where I could see the faces on the other side of the colored heads. Now that I am grown, I don’t believe in magic anymore. This may surprise you, but I tend to be a skeptic. An optimistic skeptic, but a skeptic nonetheless.

My yellow dress with green embroidery had criss-cross straps in the back. The pastor’s auburn colored comb-over and wire-rimmed glasses are etched clearly in my memory bank. I don’t know the exact date, but can determine the time of year because of the weather. I still have no explanation for my complete lapse of leg awareness, except I had faith in my father’s words.

Take the first step, God will take the rest.

Ephesians 3:20, “God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!” MSG


Walking doesn’t require tremendous skill, though a year ago it required strength I didn’t have. Walking doesn’t require courage, but the first step certainly does. Once you plant your sweaty little hoof out there in the aisle, you are committed. Afterwards it’s simple, one foot in front of the other propels you forward. The first step is always the hardest part. I’m smiling and shaking my head as I think about the accumulation of perspiration on my palms and soles at the mere thought of being in front of crowd, since that’s kind of what I do now.

2 Corinthians 4:13, “Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, ‘I believed, and so I spoke,’ we also believe, and so we also speak.'” ESV


Some days I still feel like that seven year old little girl when I publish my blog. I envision the virtual sea of colorful heads all over the world. My first clue I was severely under-qualified for technical work was the look on my son’s face when I asked him how to copy/paste for the fifth time. But the decision had been made and therefore the commitment, so I took the first step. My Heavenly Father is beside me, nodding His encouragement, nudging me and reminding me of my earthly father’s words,

Take the first step; God will take the rest.

2 Timothy 4:17, “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.” NIV


What is God calling you to do? Does it require you to step out in the aisle or your comfort zone and walk to the front? You have a choice. Will you decide to follow Jesus wherever He leads? Take that hard first step in faith and put one foot in front of the other. Maybe it’s time to overcome your sweaty palms and feet, turn around and face the crowd. You know, what my dad said is still true.

Take the first step, God will take the rest #courage #rtp Click To Tweet

Psalm 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” HCSB

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Looks like my number is up

Looks like my number is up

I was wrecked. Hot tears flowed from my eyes and lava oozed up from the cracks in my soul. I should have let the call go to voicemail. Gulping for a breath between sobs, I answered the phone anyway. Probably not a good idea; people are not used to seeing me like this. Normally, I am the cheerleader giving a pep talk. It’s not like my mind to wander to such dark places. But after all I have been through, I simply cannot imagine going backward.

At least I had sense enough to cancel my radio broadcast. It surely wouldn’t do to sniffle on the air, although when I did eventually record, my co-host barked several times.

Continue reading

When you are hanging on by a thread


My Right Side Up Life (1)What are you about to lose if something or someone doesn’t change?

  • Marriage?
  • Job?
  • Wayward child?
  • Aging parent?
  • Freedom?
  • Health?
  • Faith?
  • Hope?
  • Life?


Trying to keep faith. Wanting to believe God is enough. Praying gut-wrenching prayers and claiming all the verses that promise results. It’s tiresome.

I don’t have a problem believing. The waiting, oh the waiting, is the hard part.

Romans 8:24-25, “For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. ” NIV


Really, it is the not the end of the rope, it is the end of self. How will I know God is enough unless He is all I have? Perhaps that is precisely why it’s necessary to lose our lives in order to save them. Because of my insufficiency, I see His sufficiency more clearly.

Often I pray, “Be with me God.” Everything else is loss. Knowing God and His presence makes everything else seem like garbage. Everything. His love really is better than life.

So it’s worth this hanging on.

Hanging on for dear life.

Hanging by a thread.

Philippians 3:8, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” ESV


A strand of three cords is not easily broken. So hold tight to your marriage, fight for your kid, cradle your parent’s hand gently, struggle for your sobriety with everything in you, push for your health and never give up hope, faith or life.

When you can’t hold on anymore, reach for the hand with a firm grip and let Him hold onto you.

When you can't hang on to Jesus, let Him hold on to you. #faith #rtp Click To Tweet

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held ~ Casting Crowns

Psalm 63: 8, “I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.” MSG


The effort to hold what is dear is a paradox. Holding on with both hands doesn’t leave a free hand to hold onto Christ. So holding actually requires letting go. Be assured, He will hold on to you. His arm is strong and mighty.

Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ESV


The boys in the furnace found it.

Daniel 3:17, “The God we serve is able to deliver us….But even if He doesn’t…” NIV

Job found it.

Job 13:15, “Even if He kills me, I will hope in Him” HCSB

 I found it. 

2 Corinthians 12:7,9, “I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness” MSG

Can you?


There is a secret. A prayer that never fails.

Not the turmoil prayer. You know, the one that goes something like,

“Please God do such and such or please don’t let this or that happen.”

Admit it, we all pray them. It’s a tug-of-war: my way vs God’s way. Problem is, I don’t know the end of the story.

He does.

Want peace?

Pray this,

“Whatever Lord.”

That’s it. Works every time. Perfect peace trusting His perfect heart and His perfect plan. It’s fool proof. Thy will be done. Wait, do not misunderstand. This is the hardest prayer you will ever pray. You will come away bruised and bloody. When Jacob wrestled with God, he limped away with a dislocated hip.

He will wound you…

Hosea 6:1, “Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, and He will heal us; He has wounded us, and He will bind up our wounds.” HCSB

But you don’t know the end of the story…

You never know who is hanging on by a thread. I’d love for you to share this.

How I lost a big weight

unforgiveness is fatal - lose it

The knife in the back is not nearly as painful as the twisting of the blade. Without emergency attention, betrayal is a critical wound, but unforgiveness is fatal.

New Years 2016 was slightly better than 2015; except for the cough, the shingles and overall not feeling well. At least I was out of the bed. However, 2015 brought healing of another disease nearly as incurable as myasthenia gravis.


Unforgiveness is a deadly epidemic. Although I don’t have any instant solutions, I  invite you to read how I overcame betrayal and my subsequent unforgiveness.

Betrayal is a wound caused by others, unforgiveness is self-inflicted #rtp #forgive Click To Tweet


It was not easy. It never is, but it’s worth the effort.

This post first appeared on My Journey of Faith, click HERE to visit the website.

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If someone wronged you, don’t live in their prison. I invite you to freedom.

Ephesians 4:32, “Forgive one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” HCSB

Here’s an excerpt from the book: Dressing the Wound: Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

The three of us sat at a table for two. I didn’t see him at first, although I could see indentions on her shoulders where she had carried him for years. He didn’t know he was there, yet he always was. He had taken much from her. He may or may not have cared about the genuine pain he inflicted, but after he stopped, she volunteered to give him more. He gained nothing, but she lost her freedom.

Her chin drifted toward her chest as if her neck could no longer bear the weight. Concealer applied to dark circles under her eyes failed to hide the evidence of the space he occupied in her mind every night. My brow furrowed as I wondered why she let him continue to live there. Looking closely, I expected to see a shackle binding them together everywhere she went.

She would not forgive. Bitterness flourished and took root in her soul, slowly consuming her from the inside out.

Have you seen her? Maybe she looked at you in the mirror this morning.

CLICK HERE to order my book on forgiveness, “Dressing the Wound.”