Celebrating Valentine’s Day when there’s a hole in your heart

Celebrating Valentine’s Day when there’s a hole in your heart

Last year the red and pink hearts were blurred by tears as I stood in the aisle looking for a suitable card. Problem is, I wasn’t living a Hallmark life. Finally, I settled on one that didn’t tell a non-existent fairy tale and signed it,

I’ll love you forever…

I meant it and I will, but I’ve learned a lot about love since then.This year I can skip standing in Walgreen’s blinking back a faucet threatening to spill on the floor. I was so afraid of being alone, I wasn’t sure I would survive. Then I realized, I already had. You see, fear and love cannot co-exist.

1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. HCSB


I’m not afraid any more because the hole in my heart is being filled with a whole heart. Oh there are visible cracks where the fragments are glued back together because once your life is shattered, the pieces never look the same. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. Only God brings beauty from ashes and turns mourning to joy.

Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got!” MSG

I’ll love you forever…


There was a time my heart was so heavy, I thought about abandoning it and leaving it behind. Instead, I offered the tattered scraps to the healer of my soul. I no longer pray for God to fix my life, rather I pray for Him to fix my heart: not my friends, not my family, not my health, not my circumstances – my heart. He fixes by filling and He fills us with love.

I John 4:8, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” NIV

“The man God uses must be undone” A.W. Tozer


What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Will you spend it with someone special or do you dread the glaring reminder? Before I get an invitation to crash your romantic dinner date, I won’t be totally alone; I’ll be with one of my favorite people on the planet. Of course, it’s not the same.

I’ll love you forever…


Dear friend, I want you to know you can trust God. He is tender with your broken heart and He wants you seek Him with all of yours. Over and over He asks me, “Am I enough?” My spirit says, “Yes!” while my weak flesh still doubts. But in my heart of hearts, I know He is the, “I AM enough.” My heart isn’t completely whole yet, but I’m offering Him the pieces and He is filling the gaping hole.

Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart.” ESV

God is the I AM enough #IAM #TrueLove Click To Tweet

Lean in to God. Joy comes in the morning, but sometimes it comes in the mourning. I won’t be in the aisle this year, instead I am going to the throne. Pray for my broken heart, I would love some company on my journey.

Broken and alone

Broken and alone

My aversion to geese probably stems from flashbacks of the birds hissing and honking hot on my trail as my short little legs ran in terror. At the age of six, I was traumatized. Now several Canadian geese have taken up residence on my property. My heart is Grinch-sized when it comes to the nasty creatures. I don’t like them and I never have.

For sport, I like to sic my dog on a gaggle of wild geese. Pea-sized heart I tell you. It is rather entertaining to watch them scatter and fuss as my Aussie instinctively tries to herd the fowl. They usually escape with a short, low flight to the center of the pond. My dog is a good swimmer, but she doesn’t steer very well, so they are safe in the water and they know it.

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