HOW TO KEEP GOING WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE
The waterfall spilled from behind my mirrored sunglasses after I disconnected the call that changed everything. Sitting on the beach evaluating the corners of my life, I made tough decisions. Laying aside my own plans, I surrendered to what God whispered to my heart. Though it was difficult to admit, the path I was on did not glorify Him. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t choose the easy way out, in fact there are no easy options and this way is particularly hard. At home my choices seemed right, but when I got still and listened to the Mediterranean lap rhythmically, I knew it was time to change course. Some would support me but most wouldn’t understand, not that it mattered. I knew what God wanted me to do.
Walk by faith, not by sight
Physically 6,000 miles from home, I felt a million miles away emotionally when I felt the vibration. Squinting, I lifted my sunglasses and focused on the two words displayed on the screen, “Call me.” After a couple of unsuccessful attempts, I texted back, “I can’t get a call to go through.” Within seconds my phone vibrated again, as I slide my finger horizontally across the bottom of the screen my mom’s persistence conveyed an ominous urgency.
“The doctor came in today.” No greeting, how’s the trip, or hope you’re having a great vacation. No, only the doctor came in today. “He talked to Daddy.” Where did my mom learn to break bad news so eloquently? We learned in medical school; don’t drop the bomb, get them worried first; let them down gently. “No more chemo…Hospice….Six months.”
How does one process “six months” sitting on a beach staring at emerald waters teasing me with their calm? Already contemplative, I turned to the words I wrote only moments before the call that changed everything,
Ultimately I want God to be glorified. I want to live the gospel:
Since I didn’t have a journal, I emailed the words to myself, nailing down my commitment. I almost heard brakes squealing as my direction came to a screeching halt. Pushing pause on a barreling decision required more power than I possessed, but now the last piece of the puzzle snapped into perfectly into place filling the irregularly shaped hole in my life.
God knew. He knew but He wanted my commitment first,
Because faith that is seen is not faith at all
“For we walk by faith, not by sight” 2 Corinthians 5:7 (HCSB)Faith that is seen is not faith at all #WalkByFaith #NotBySight Click To Tweet
Whenever trouble invades my life I call my friend and mentor; my praying, tears-at-the-ready, Bible-quoting mentor. But I was continents away and I knew what she would do anyway. She would gather both my hands in both of hers, her clear blue eyes glistening, she would pray, “Father we thank you and praise you that you knew what this day would bring before we ever got out of bed this morning.”
He knows. He knows the secret things of the universe and how it all turns out in the end. I don’t, that’s why it’s called faith.
Faith is the antonym of sight
So as the waterfall spilled behind my aviators, I felt peace. You know, the kind that passes understanding. “Mom, you sound okay.” It wasn’t a question but she answered anyway, “Well we’ve cried.” Yeah, I imagine so and we haven’t run out of tears yet, but we are okay because our Father knew what this day would bring and He knows what tomorrow brings and He holds us in His hands as we walk by faith, not by sight.
“It’s what we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. Do you suppose a few ruts in the road or rocks in the path are going to stop us? When the time comes, we’ll be plenty ready to exchange exile for homecoming.” 2 Corinthians 5:7-8 (MSG)
Walk by faith, not by sight
Trust your Heavenly Father with tomorrow
Keep going, even if you can’t see
Because, He knows
P.S. Stay tuned for the rest of the story, my dad got unexpectedly good news and a second chance at life.