why I keep going back for more


Don’t. Do. It. You are all going to die.

My neck and shoulders ached from cringing over scorched bodies laying at awkward angles like a pile of broken sticks. I rarely go to the movies and even rarer do I watch an R-rated movie, but I made an exception to see “Hacksaw Ridge.” Eviscerated intestines didn’t disturb me; personally I’ve handled lots of guts. I’ve been elbow deep in blood more times than I care to count, but the hollow eyes staring from maimed faces of men willing to sacrifice it all for a cause they believed in got to me. Every time those soldiers climbed back up that jagged ridge, my gut reaction was, “NO!” Don’t go back into that hell hole. Stay safe. Now, I wonder why I keep going back for more.

Ephesians 6:12, “This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish…” MSG

Dear Lord, please protect us and keep us from harm

Isn’t that what we pray more than anything? Lord keep us safe. Are we are so addicted to safety we stay out of the battle? You know, I’d like to take a break myself. It’s far easier to avoid enemy territory than face a relentless adversary determined to destroy. Nevertheless true soldiers climb that rope ladder over and over and defeat the enemy.

1 Peter 5:8, “Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.” HCSB


For some reason, I sauntered into enemy territory without realizing there was a bull’s eye on my back. Often, I’m really not sure how I got here. Maybe I should’ve played it safe and I wouldn’t be so bloody and battered. Then again, maybe not.

I wrote a book about FORGIVENESS and struggled with unforgiveness

While I published my series on ANXIETY, I thrashed all night, picked at my food and my heart nearly beat out of my chest as I gasped for air

Currently I feel like a hypocrite while I tweet and speak on JOY and I’m barely clinging

So much theology teaches us “the safest place to be is in the center of God’s will.” Why do I constantly feel in harm’s way?

Following Christ is dangerous #BeBrave Click To Tweet

Although following Christ is dangerous, it’s worth it.

2 Corinthians 4:17, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” NKJV


Do you understand the risks? The enemy kicks us when we are down and never fights fair. Sitting in that dark theater, I endured the re-enacted scene as a spectator. The main character prayed for just one more. Oh that we would ask God for one more – one more soul brought to Jesus for healing and salvation, one more finding hope while surrounded by despair, one more person finding true life despite their wounds.

why I keep going back for more

I am determined to walk what I talk, but let me tell you it ain’t easy these days. Enemy forces surround me. Sweet friends, please know I am tempted to harbor bitterness, but I fight it. My tongue has a hole in it from suppressing words. Truthfully, I lose that battle often, but every single day I fight. This is no ordinary war.

2 Corinthians 10:4, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” NIV

We are soldiers for an eternal kingdom and it is worth my life, and yours. Lock arms with me and let’s do this together. Are you brave enough to enter the battle? Join me, I need the reinforcements.

Isaiah 54:17 “But in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. Theses benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken!” NLT

Just one more, Lord…

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  1. This is hard, but Praise the LORD, this is temporary. I just read Psalm 34,( perfect timing), verse 19, ” Many hardships and perplexing circumstances confront the righteous, But the LORD rescues him from them all.” Thank you again for sharing your story.

  2. When we fight, it is not to gain victory because we already have the victory through Jesus.
    We are to stand and resist not tremble and shake.
    I have found worshipping the Lord and declaring His Word out loud (usually in private) is a very good way to stand and resist.

  3. I really enjoyed your thoughts on going into battle every day or playing it safe by not going. I didn’t see the movie because I have my own movies, but I do know going into battles take courage, and those that are well trained can complete their mission. I am thankful for God’s training manual (His word) and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to lead & direct our lives! May God’s blessings be upon you. Semper Fidelis!

  4. I love the promise in that verse from Isaiah – – “no weapon turned against you will succeed”. There are days it certainly feels as if EVERY weapon succeeds. Just have to keep reminding ourselves, that God is in control and will see us thru to victory. Thanks again for sharing your heart and your battles. Lets us all know that we are not alone in the fight – but we can join forces together and definitely reinforce each other in prayer and love!!!!