What if your worst fears come true?

What if your worst fears come true?

“What are you afraid of?”

The question punched a hole in my heart. Emotions spewed out with every beat until I nearly exsanguinated.

Me? Afraid? I thought I was fearless and brave. My chin juts out in defiance of fear. What am I afraid of? Nothing, nothing at all.

I’m not afraid of what people think

I’m not afraid to take risks and tackle big goals

I’m not afraid of death or speaking in public

Really I’m not, and I’m certainly not afraid to try. I mean trying hard enough equals success, right?


Ecclesiastes 4:6, “Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.” NIV

I’ve chased after the wind my whole life and you know what? I am afraid.

I am afraid of failure

Hello, my name is Vickie and I am an overachieving perfectionist. You see, that’s what scared people do, they try harder and harder so they can control the outcome. But then the outcome is a control monster who cannot be tamed. I may be a complete control freak, but I’m not even partially in control. I am a failure. Despite my super-hero efforts, my worst fears have come true.

You do this because, as all fearers know, eventually the hammer does come down and our worst dream comes true- and everything will shatter in the blink of an eye. You can’t let things break; that’s always the goal. Keep things together ~ Kelly Balarie

Matthew 6:27, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” KJV


In my life A + B doesn’t equal C. Instead it adds up to F for failure. I thought if I studied enough I could become a doctor and practice medicine until I retired. If I ate healthy and exercised, then I could lap you in the gym. It made sense to me that enough love and guidance would shed years of baggage and adoption would alter the course of a life. And I never, ever doubted that if I read all the right books and stayed strong I could keep my life from unraveling. .

Proverbs 27:1, “Don’t boast about tomorrow, for you don’t know what a day might bring.” HCSB

We don’t have to know everything but just have to be willing to accept His everything ~ Kelly… Click To Tweet


In the last 3 years I failed – at everything. My health nose-dived and careened my career as an obstetrician/gynecologist into the ditch. Seven years of soul-investment in a child went belly up when the craving for acceptance was insatiable. The undetected fault line in my life’s foundation quaked and crumbled in my hands.

Matthew 10:28, “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” NLT


When Kelly Balarie asked, “What are you afraid of?” I felt as if she had peeked into my head. Opening the pages of her book Fear Fighting, I was sure of it.

It is imperative we stand united so when fear tries to knock us over into failure (which tends to disguise itself as the pursuit of perfection), we rise as a red-rover band of women unbroken ~ Kelly Balarie

During my season of loss and gut-wrenching pain, friends reminded me that God is faithful and He is all that matters. Yes, I failed. Actually my entire body failed; I have an autoimmune disease which literally means my body attacks itself and makes me weak. But isn’t that what fear is anyway? We attack our own minds with the what ifs.

We have to go through enduring before we start conquering ~ Kelly Balarie #fearfighting Click To Tweet


My worst fears came true

And I survived

Because I am a fear fighter


Let me tell you, know what you believe and why you believe it because that is the key to surviving the reality of your worst fears. That’s why I’m recommending Kelly Balarie’s book Fear Fighting. Truth is the best weapon to tame fear. I know truth, but I need it to surround me and Kelly’s unique voice makes me feel like she’s hanging out on the porch giving me a pep talk over a mug of coffee. I hope she will someday.

God often lets us go through pain so we will press in to His love ~ Kelly Balarie… Click To Tweet


Excruciating pain makes us crave temporary relief from the world, but if we press in to God’s love, He walks through the valley with us. Better pack your survival kit ahead of time, then you will be equipped when fear attacks. I survived because I trust God has a better plan for me than I have for myself. Sometimes my emotions still send me after the wind until I reach for truth. Ultimate truth only comes from the word of God so clutch it for dear life when gale force winds blow. I’m done being blown by the wind, instead I’m resting in the arms of the Faithful One. Join me in defeating fear. It’s worth the fight

And what I can be sure of is even if circumstance after circumstance crumbles and tumbles, day after day, I can rest confidently that I am being shaken loose to be re-formed into the image of Christ. Imagine that? If I looked like Him, I might look like peace, calm, courage power, and strength. I want it. I want all that. I want Him. Steady footing ~Kelly Balarie

Joy isn’t recovered from the past; it is only celebrated in the present ~ Kelly Balarie… Click To Tweet

All my worst fears came true and I am a total failure. I’ve been knocked down, but not out, because through it all I haven’t failed God. Oh, I messed up plenty, but He doesn’t remember it…

Isaiah 43:25, “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” ESV

Learn more about Kelly Balarie at www.purposefulfaith.com and order her book “Fear Fighting” at  www.fearfightingbook.com. Kelly is guest posting for me next week, so tune in to read more.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this book for an honest review.






37 thoughts on “What if your worst fears come true?

  1. I have had some of my worst fears come true – not as devastating as yours – but failures. I am so thankful that our God loves us enough to work in us and through us, allowing us to use for good what was a failure. Thank you for sharing. I needed this today.

  2. The fact that we follow the One who goes ahead of us might be our greatest accomplishment! We know His voice and He hears us! The only way not to fail! So why does fear enter in??? Ugh. Silly us to say it nicely! When everything is about Him, what is there to fear? Lord thank you for helping ALL of us!!

  3. My fear was also met and He had another path for me as I am a failure too.
    I ran across this quote and it seems fitting Vickie
    “There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.” Washington Irving

  4. Never forget that life is a two way street. Nothing is ever just one persons fault. Prayers for everything that you are going thru. Carl and I love you.

  5. Hmm, this is the second time in about 5 minutes I randomly came across this book. Something tells me I should pick it up. Thanks for putting yourself out there to encourage others—that is scary stuff!!

  6. Oh Vickie! What a testimony. Her line about fear of failure masquerading as perfectionism got me too. Thanks for sharing how this struck you personally and testifying to the truth. I love this header line: “KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE THEN BELIEVE WHAT YOU KNOW.” Going to have to write that down!!

  7. This touched me. I too lost my career to MG. My condition worsens slowly each month. I fight the battle of addiction with my son, I am not addicted, but it is a family disease, and we fight the evil together.
    Thank you for the intelligent, thoughtful words.

  8. Oh, how I love how you ended you post . . .”I’ve messed up plenty, but He doesn’t remember.” It is an amazing thought that He chooses to remember our transgressions no more!! Praise His holy name!!!

  9. This presentation is so frank and touching. I know the things I am afraid of. Driving is one of them. I keep telling myself, “One of these days, I will learn.” Bur it hasn’t happened yet. I should really face my fears because the Lord is on hand to help me.

  10. No matter what adversity you are faced with, you continue to be an inspiration to others. Thank you, and God Bless you❤️

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