What if it isn’t really rejection?

I nearly ran the woman over with my car before I saw her. My right hand shifted into reverse while my left hand pressed my cell phone against my ear. Glancing at the clock, I knew I was already late to my next appointment. If only I had a third hand to roll down the window. I suspended my call as she leaned in to invite me to lunch.

Sorry, not today.

I wanted to go; I really did, but I couldn’t. I hope she asks again. I also hope my hurriedness didn’t come across as rudeness or even worse, disinterest. She took the risk, extended the invitation and I flat turned her down.

Most of us are guilty of interpreting situations through a distorted lens


Like childbirth, a few come easy but most are hard work. One of my friends is just plain difficult and if I didn’t know better, I’d think she didn’t like me. I have to twist her arm to go to lunch. I keep after her though. I don’t know if she really needs me, but I think I need her. She is stingy with her conversation, yet I wait for her to drop a phrase of wisdom into me. It’s like reaching for a bubble; catch it softly and memorize the iridescent colors before they burst. A couple of rare hours with her I’m filled with a whole month’s worth of one-line treasures. I’m jealous of parts of her life and aspects of my life excel where hers flails. Maybe that’s why we need each other and why we avoid each other.

She has hard struggles, so do I, so do you. Our struggles are different, but can we be friends anyway?

Ephesians 4:29, “Say only what helps, each word a gift.” MSG


A friend is “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.”


Picking the edge with my fingernail, I finally caught the corner of the protective backing. Once started, it smoothly peeled away from the adhesive so I could stick the monogram onto my Yeti mug. There, I smoothed it down so it would stick through washings.

Truly knowing a friend also requires revealing and removing the protective covering. Bonds formed by sharing the secret pains in our souls are stronger than cement. Other bonds are more like scotch tape; over time they lose their adhesiveness and eventually flutter away.

Philippians 3:10, “I want to know Christ-yes to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in death.” NIV


God designed us for connectedness, not isolation. How about making a new friend? If a name immediately came to mind, write it in your journal and send a message. Let me know how it works out.

Let me warn you, you may feel rejected. Maybe the message was not returned because it was never received. Haven’t we all typed out a reply text and forgot to hit send? There’s also the possibility her own life is falling apart and she isn’t feeling too social but needs you anyway. Don’t let your friends isolate.

And if someone walks up to your window to invite you to lunch, don’t run over her!

You can't always stay in your corner waiting for others to come #friendship #WinnieThePooh Click To Tweet

Proverbs 12:26, “The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.” NLT

Cyber relationships are criticized for not being genuine relationships. While I completely agree we need face-to-face, flesh and blood friendships, I feel connected with you. Especially when I hear about your own struggles and victories. Thanks for giving me a little corner of your surf time to speak words of encouragement, not just to you, but ultimately to myself.




4 thoughts on “What if it isn’t really rejection?

  1. Thank you for sharing this. I feel rejected at times and like I am the one who does all the inviting. But I need my friends and they always seem to be glad we got together.

    It is nice to have someone put into words my thoughts.

    I appreciate your blog.

    Julie Daubendiek

  2. Thanks thank you. This post and the previous one hit me right between the eyes. I’m terrible at making that first move and have probably missed out on way more opportunities than I want to admit.

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