How to make a friend

How to make a friend

I clicked on the camera and the same message blocked the screen,

“unable to take photo, not enough storage.”

After all that work, I only freed up a few megabytes

Ugh, my storage is always full. I need a bigger plan. (Read about it HERE)

Moving on to text messages, I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled. I deleted conversations and saved the images to my phone. Yeah, yeah, I realize I replaced some of the photo space I just cleared.

Still need more megabytes

Ok, voice mails; all of those can go. Whew, inbox cleaned out.

Barely chipping away at megabytes

What about apps? I trashed Words with Friends and Sudoku. Second to my online Bible, Facebook is my biggest storage consumer. I don’t remember when I first joined, I only remember why – to keep up with my teenagers and their friends. Now they call it creeping. Whatever, I claim momma’s rights on that one.


Facebook messenger takes up space and private messages can be deleted. Risking acute carpal tunnel syndrome, I swiped and deleted YEARS worth of messages. A particular one in the archives caught my eye:

I would be interested in getting together sometime

Yeah me too.

The old message was from a treasured friend who knows the crazy part of my mind and soul. Some mornings she leaves my porch before 8 a.m. with dried snot and tears on her shirt. I trust her with my life, literally. When my heart was out of rhythm, I called her at midnight to sit with me all night in the emergency room. Hey, paybacks are only fair; I rode in the back of the ambulance with her once, although it was during the daylight hours.

Proverbs 18:24, “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.” MSG


I’m glad she stuck by me. But understand, when she sent the original message, I barely knew her. Oh,our kids were similar ages, we attended the same church and I even knew her parents, but we were casual friends. She reached out and started a deep friendship.

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times…” NKJV





Our special relationship began with a Facebook message because she didn’t have my cell phone number. Social media opens doors to connect across town or across the globe. But it feels risky, doesn’t it? Often we think everyone else’s dance card is full, when in fact people sit at home and wait for an invitation from someone who is sitting at home waiting for an invitation. Take a chance and trade the standoff for true friendship.

Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” NIV

Reaching out to others helps us untangle our own messy lives.

Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. ‘I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.’ ‘You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what’s a life, anyway? We’re born, we live a little while, we die. A spider’s life can’t help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone’s life can stand a little of that. ~E.B. White Charlotte’s Web

Do you need a friend?

Get out of your corner


reaching out to help others helps us untangle our own messy lives #charlotte's web #friendship Click To Tweet

I truly consider all of my readers friends. I hope you are encouraged by my posts. As always, I’d love to hear from you. It’s more fun when you join the conversation.


12 thoughts on “How to make a friend

  1. Wow, talk about hitting a nerve. I’m always entertained and encouraged by your posts, but this is the first one that’s actually made me cry (and want to scream)…because I’m the one sitting at home. Not necessarily waiting for someone to reach out. Just sitting at home thinking I’m perfectly happy as a loner…until I read this post. Feels like one of those God things where He just pierces right through my heart. ❤️

  2. Vickie, I treasure the time you share with us “on the porch”. Thank you for being open to sharing what God has laid on your heart. And thank you for your friendship.

  3. When I see the email, I’m always so anxious to read what you’ve written. Thank you for all of your posts, especially this one as it really did my heart good. I raised my children by myself, attending school and sporting events and church alone. For the first time in my 52 years I’ve not been attending church recently and other than work am becoming reclusive. When I read this I thought of a single mom who had asked me to pray as her son starts his senior year this fall and the difficulties they’ve had. I had forgotten about this. I will reach out to her today.
    Thank you again Vickie.

  4. I also struggled with loneliness when my children were small. Eventually, I looked around me and saw a lot of other women who were also lonely and have made efforts to connect. Thanks for the AA Milne quote!

  5. I know what you mean, here, and sometimes, a friend with skin on is a wonderful thing. Some people are forced, though, to depend upon the Friend that sticks closer than that, Who does not have to bother even with skin, Who can live inside you. It’s a gift to have someone else who is also that close. Impossible to manufacture.

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