If B is for biopsy, what is C is for?

B is for biopsy

Waiting for biopsy results, my nerves were calm until it completely surrounded me. The C word confronted me first in the parking deck when the arrow pointed this way to the cancer center. The pit in my stomach grew. What am I doing here?  Like a petite woman shopping in the plus-size department, I felt like I didn’t belong.

The word showed up again when I walked through the front door and for a moment I was tempted to feel pity for the others who were there until I saw joy in many of their eyes.When I passed the infusion center I noticed the fashion trend was do-rags. Okay, now my palms were sweating.

2 Corinthians 4:13, “It is written: ‘I believed; therefore I have spoken.'” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak.”NIV

Breathe in God is good

Breathe out Thy will be done

ALONE

I went alone, which was my choice. Sometimes it gets old being the UMCA (Universal Medical Center of Attention). I didn’t tell my family because I didn’t want them to worry if it ended up being nothing. Sorry. Besides, I had plenty of company in the room; two doctors and a nurse. The young doctor still training told me about her first baby born eight weeks ago. So while she held pressure on the biopsy site for ten solid minutes, we talked about new life . The other doctor is a friend, she patted my hand and promised to personally call as soon as results were available. Emotionally I never felt more alone. I really should have told my mother.

Philippians 4:9, “Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.” HCSB

Breathe in God is good

Breathe out Thy will be done

FOCUS

I’ve dodged this same bullet once before. After three agonizing weeks and literally memorizing and reciting Psalm 91 to get through the nights, the pathology report was benign. Now back in the same spot, awake, afraid and alone and staring at the surgical light directly over my face which was turned off so the suspicious black and white image on the screen was more visible, I noticed a Phillips screw in the center of the light, but on the periphery the screws were  flat head. Lying there while my skin was prepped, I noted the hexagonal pattern in the plexiglass covering. Anything to occupy my mind.

Psalm 91:2, “I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'” ESV

Breathe in God is good

Breathe out Thy will be done

Waiting for biopsy results

When the phone rang, the dog barked and for a moment I couldn’t breathe. I regret the secrecy. I need my family and my friends. The support of the community of believers is invaluable. Suddenly I realized the prayer coverage I had forfeited. I need my Christian brothers and sisters. I  need you.

Ephesians 1:15-16, “That’s  why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you-every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks.” MSG

Breathe in God is good

Breathe out Thy will be done

C IS FOR…

C is for community because we need EACH OTHER.

Whatever you are facing, don’t do it alone.

C is for cancer sometimes because we live in a FALLEN WORLD.

Lord, be with all those affected by this disease.

C is for all CLEAR this time.

 Praise the Lord!

And now B is for breathe

Breathe in God is good

Breathe out Thy will be done

God often forces me to follow my own advice. I found Prescriptions for Anxiety helpful during this stressful time.

Keep breathing my friends
God is good indeed
Breathe in - God is good, breathe out - Thy will be done #waitingforbiopsyresults #cancer Click To Tweet

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  1. I would love to read it! I have a daughter with a chronic illness and life can be very worrisome at times! I really enjoy your blog. Great words!!

  2. Glad to hear all was clear and well. I have been there as you know and the results were not the same, but I still thank-god everyday that you had the insight to probably save my life by catching my case early. You are truly a blessing! Merry Christmas and may the New Year bring you continued health and happiness!

  3. So grateful that you got a clear diagnosis. BTW, you are on my permanent prayer list. Praying for you, your health and well-being, your family and anyone who touches your life. Hugs all around.

  4. This was written for me. You wrote this six days before my scheduled biopsy. I was going to go alone, be strong, tough…….I didn’t. This spoke to me, was meant for me to read. Still awaiting final results, but am remembering every day to breathe in and breathe out. God Bless, thank you and keep on writing what He puts on your heart.