Sorry I snarled at you

A happy heart makes good medicine

I immediately spotted the card lying on top of the bills and circulars when I opened the mailbox. Unexpectedly, it filled me with a disproportionate sense of dread. The post card from the DMV reminded me, it is time for me to renew my driver’s license.

THE PHOTO

I know it is pathetic, but I don’t want to do it. The prednisone puffiness in my face is fading, but I prefer my old driver’s license photo. It’s not really a bad picture.  I am smiling and my face is thinner. Vanity? Maybe, but I forget how much my face has changed until I look in the mirror.

Psalm 94:11, “Jehovah knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.” ASV

I CAN’T SMILE

Before you get upset, let me explain. It is not physically possible for the corners of my mouth to turn up. Myasthenia gravis (MG) causes a snarl instead of a smile. I think it is permanent and  I hate it. I laugh a lot and smile often, but it looks different. I miss my smile as much as I miss the feel of wind in my hair or the softness of a newborn’s feet.

Proverbs 31:25, “Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.” HCSB

SOMETIMES IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Have you ever been singing in church and someone turned around and said, “You should be in the choir.”?  Yeah, well that has never happened to me. I cannot carry a tune, nevertheless I enjoy singing, especially in church. Sometimes I don’t have enough breath, but it’s okay, I am content to listen. What I really miss though is not being able to hold the Wooooo when calling the hogs. It’s a razorback thing, ya’ll. Even if I had the breath, I can’t hold my arms up.

Psalm 66:1, “Make a joyful noise unto God” KJV

WHO MISSES YOUR SMILE?

I miss my smile. Does someone miss yours?  Mine was taken by MG. Has yours been stolen by grief, heartache, bitterness or depression? Someone misses your smile. Someone needs to see the corners of your mouth turn up. Maybe it is your children, even if they are grown, or your spouse. Perhaps a stranger needs a smile.

Job 29:24, “When I smiled at them, they could hardly believe it; their faces lit up, their troubles took wing!” MSG

KEEP SMILING

There is no cure for MG, but it is treatable. And I promise I am smiling even if you can’t tell by my face. If you have lost your smile, ask God to give you joy. Count your blessings, I promise it helps. Simply practice smiling, it looks better than snarling.

I miss my smile. Who misses yours? #IHaveHeardofMG Click To Tweet

Numbers 6:26, “The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” NIV

When is the last time you smiled? How about starting today…

It's more fun when you join the conversation

  1. Okay. I’m not a detail person. But when we saw you today, I must have seen joy and sure thought you were smiling!
    On another note…who has a good license picture? I did. Once. Renewal time I asked if I could keep the same picture and they let me. Give it a try…then I won’t be vain alone. 😉

  2. Counting your blessings…what a wonderful reminder once again….the ability to smile…so much to be thankful for….I am thankful for you and you are a blessing to me….

  3. Vickie, you’re beautiful…MG can’t change that. Your radiance is far deeper than any smile (and someday when we’re celebrating together in heaven you’ll even have your “old” smile again). Your writing brings so much thoughtfulness to us – you remind us that each day is a gift, to use it wisely and ENJOY! God bless you for sharing.

  4. Your article touched home. I too miss my smile. The MG really plays a number on my facial expressions.
    My son & his wife are expecting a baby. There was such an outpouring of gifts given from friends. I really wished I could have spoken to each one to let them know how grateful we were.
    Even a smile would have been nice but it was an impossible time for either.
    My prayer is to gain strength before the arrival of our Grandson.

    Thank you for writing and the encouragement.

  5. God bless you. You have the strength and courage to keep on truckin’. You will be blessed and you will touch many. Thank you for helping my niece Stephenie. You may not know who or what I’m talking about but believe me. I thank God for you.

  6. Thank you for your honesty in dealing with your MG and how it is even effecting your smile. My 84 yr. old mom has been dealing with her MG for about 4 years and it is hard to see her frustration over her lack of ability to live life as she once was able to. I am planning on reading all your posts on your journey with MG to help me to relate and understand her better. Thanks again.

  7. What a beautiful post, dear Vickie! I know what it’s like to feel like you’ve lost your smile. I have a disorder that can cause degeneration through the body and it’s affecting my jaws the most right now. In pictures, I can see my jaw collapsing and my chin receding, and I hate it. Thank you for the reminder that any smile is a beautiful smile, and nothing can take our joy away!!