Are you a drain?

Are you a drain?

My parents and I spent the week out-of-state at my sister’s house. She already has a full house with a husband, four boys, including ten year old twins, two dogs and seven chickens.  Eggna is my favorite.

Psalm 127:3, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” NIV


We ate up all the food, used up all the soap, shampoo and conditioner not to mention extra water and electricity. We had dual coffee pots brewing every morning and drained them dry. She prepared meals and washed endless dishes. When we left she had extra sheets and towels to wash. We infringed on her time and disrupted her home school schedule.

Deuteronomy 28:42, “All thy trees and fruit of thy land shall the locust consume.” KJV


I was all take and no give.  It’s not like I can help with the dishes. Physically, I am not able. Being a drain as a house guest was ok for a few days, but there are more destructive ways to drain relationships. Friendships, marriages and churches with all take and no give quickly become drained.


A friend who only takes eventually wears out the one who gives.  A marriage where one focuses on what should be done for them instead of what they can do for the other usually does not last.  A church member who sits on the sideline without getting in the game usually moves on to another church, always looking for something they did not find.

Psalm 143:3, “I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away, my heart heavy, like lead.” MSG


We are given gifts in order to strengthen each other. Nothing energizes a relationship like giving. We are to carry one another’s burdens, but it can be exhausting.   That is why Jesus says His burden is light because He alone is able to carry ours and He gives instead of takes.

Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” ASV


Although I was not able to do much, she knows she is always welcome at my house. I don’t have any chickens, but Eggna can come too.  Oh wait, I did give out some medical advice and my brother-in-law says I am the best gynecologist he has ever had.

What are you contributing to your friendships, marriage or church?  Instead of moving on, look at what you can give.  I promise you will be happier.

19 thoughts on “Are you a drain?

  1. You may not be able to give physically but your presence and encouraging words are a wonderful and blessed form of giving. God will say “well done, good and faithful servant” one day for all you do for others.

  2. Good topic for me today. Thanks. My physical limitations can make me a drain on others especially my wife. I do what I can and try to do whatever it is with a positive attitude. For over 30 yrs I have played acoustic guitar on the church worship team. In years past I was able to do more but now what I have to share / give are my guitar playing skills. So, that’s what I can give. In fact, using my guitar playing skills and ability to sing allows me to share music in a variety of situations. This is what I have to give to help balance what I’m given. The giving is actually fun for me. I played last night and today I will perform at Balloons Over Russellville, a way to give to our community. Even with physical limitations there often remains some skill/ability that can be shared. Your blog is certainly a significant way to share/give of yourself. Thank you for for what you give to those of us who read your blog. ……….☮ph

  3. Dear Vicki,

    Reading your blog is such a blessing. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I’m so glad that you and your family had such a wonderful time together this week, giving all of you such precious memories to draw from. Can’t wait to hear from your Mom about the service at Carrie & Robert’s church on Monday evening; hope you can come and talk to all of us soon.

    Myrlene Tedford

    P.S. Probably anyone who can catch a runaway wheelchair & handle five boys 24-7 will recoup quickly.
    May God continue to bless all of you.

  4. Vickie, I have seen you as the “Giver” in so many relationships including our friendship and I truly appreciate you. You may now have physical limitations that keep you from washing the dishes and performing other household chores, but you still have the same giving heart and spirit that you have always possessed. You still give so much of yourself by loving for, praying for and encouraging everyone around you. You are a tremendous blessings. Love, hugs and prayers for you today!!!!

  5. Perfect! Convicted me but also challenged me in a loving way! Thank you for sharing the message that the Lord lays on your heart! Miss your presence at work.

  6. You Give great encouragement!!, thank you for sharing.

    I drove by the homestead yesterday while in town, visiting my uncle. He has MG also. I had a good time giving my husband a guided tour of the neighborhood, and told him a little background info re: your journey to being a writer now.
    God bless and keep up the great work.

  7. I hate to clean my house or go to the grocery store. However, I love when folks come stay at our house. When I know we are having guests, I don’t mind cleaning and making sure their stay is comfortable. Also, I don’t mind going to the store because I love to cook (surprising, I know!). When my guests come, I don’t want them to do anything physically to help me nor do I expect it. They’re my guests….it is my job to make them comfortable. They give to me by coming to visit, sharing their time with me and their laughter. Giving is not always physical. Glad you had a wonderful visit with your sister and her family.

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