I need a fix

I need a fix


The weight in my shoulders, legs and eyelids increases. Usually I can make it about three and a half hours before taking Pyridostigmine.  It is the same drug soldiers carry in the event they are exposed to the nerve gas-Sarin.  People with myasthenia gravis take it because their immune system makes antibodies which block the signal from the nerve to the muscle.  Since Pyridostigmine helps my weakness; my weakness reminds me to take it.

2 Corinthians 11:30, “If boasting is necessary, I will boast about my weaknesses.” HCSB


I take two different forms of the medication.  The short-acting formulation lasts three to four hours and is reasonably priced.  The sustained release, long-acting form is expensive.  But it helps me and I know I need it, so I pay for it. I suppose it is worth the cost.

Luke 14:28, “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” NIV


Every three weeks I spend the day at the hospital for an infusion of IVIG.  It is helping me, I am much stronger.   When I am feeling particularly strong, I occasionally forget to take  my medication on time.  Maybe I should set an alarm.

Hosea 10:13, “You thought you could do it all on your own, flush with weapons and manpower.”  MSG


I recognized my spirit getting weaker and let it remind me to pray.  It seems when life is good and everything is smooth sailing, I forget to pray.  I feel stronger, so I depend on myself and my own resources.  What if I had a prayer dependency?

Mark 14:38 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” NIV


Prayer is not cheap.  It always costs.  It may cost time, effort or sleep, but there is always a price.  The long-acting kind of prayer costs more, but it sustains longer.  The quick, short-acting ones are less expensive and needed more frequently. But I may forget them when life is good. When I fail to pray, and I often do, I am not depending on the only One who is truly dependable. I am depending on my own limited strength.

Psalm 105:4, “Search for the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.” HCSB


For the most part, I am in the habit of taking my medications on a scheduled basis.  It is routine and my weakness reminds me of my dependency.  Instead of waiting until my circumstances are overwhelming before I come running back to the One who always accepts me even when He has not heard from me in a while, I will let my weakness remind me of my need for His strength and power.

I Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.” KJV



No one needs a reminder to pray when life is difficult, but those prayers are only rescue prayers. What God desires most from me is relationship. Real relationship means spending time together, being honest and appreciative.

Psalm 5:2, “Hear the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to You do I pray.”  AMP

Have you plugged in to the power of prayer?  Everybody wants to pray when life gets tough, but power comes from talking to someone already you know.

8 thoughts on “I need a fix

  1. I loved this one. I know its because it was totally was what I needed. Right blog at the right time. Thank you Vickie.

  2. Drug dependence I understand. I would like to feel such a strong need to talk to the Lord that to not do so would trigger a very strong desire to do so especially when I’m feeling better. Brief conversation is about what my prayer life is. Praying has never become the habit that I need to experience. As always your words speak to my situation. I struggle with my physical limitations daily even though I am staying busy with music. There is always the night when I’m alone in pain and fatigue. Still more often than not I don’t have much of a prayer life them. I’m not handling this on my own and I realize that. ….just have not so helpful habits. ……….☮ph

  3. What a blessing your writings are. What a great comparison of medication strengthening us when we need it and seeing our need for prayer to stay spiritually strengthened. Your blog was used to hear the Spirit of God calling me to prayer right now. Glad I’m home alone. I shall certainly bring your name to heaven tonight among other things thank you, Vickie.

  4. Always enjoy your blog it is always a blessing. We probably all need to work on our prayer life. We all need a prayers closet.

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