FEELING BEAUTIFUL

Feeling beautiful

WHAT DOES SICK LOOK LIKE?

When people know you are ill they expect you to look sick.   My disease causes weakness, you can’t see that. Understandably, chemotherapy makes you loose all your hair.  Gravely ill people may be cachectic, thin and pale. But, even some terminally ill people may look totally normal.  So I guess people  are surprised when they hear someone is sick and see them look  “normal”.  I have been guilty too.  I recently saw a young woman with stage 4 cancer who is undergoing chemo.  She’s gorgeous!  So the first thing I said?

YOU LOOK GREAT!

I didn’t mean to say it, but like so many things, it just popped out.  It’s meant as a compliment, as if looking good helps lessen the seriousness of it all. Sometimes I groan when I hear it.  Myasthenia gravis alters your appearance.  It causes a “snarl” instead of a smile.  My eyelids droop, usually my right one is a lot worse and sometimes I can barely keep it open.  But most of all, I have a big, round moon face and double chin thanks to prednisone.  I just want to look like my driver’s license photo for crying out loud.  I know, that’s kind of pathetic.   So when people tell me I look good;

I LOOK TO SEE IF THEIR NOSE IS GROWING

Recently, a dear lady said it. Without pausing to let my brain engage in polite conversation, I said, “why do people say that?”  It’s not like I don’t have a mirror.  I know how I look.  She never missed a beat.   She said, “Because when I see your face, I see God at work. I see Jesus in your smile.” It made my day.

I FELT BEAUTIFUL

For the first time in a long time I felt truly beautiful, not because of what could be seen in the mirror and not because I was particularly beautiful before. But, she confirmed that beauty comes from the inside. I want people to see that Jesus lives in me. If there is anything good in me, it’s Him. Moses spent forty days on the mountain with God. When he came down his face reflected the glory of the Lord so intensely that he had to cover it with a veil. That’s what happens when you spend time with Almighty God. You soak up so much of His glory that it is reflected to others. Moses spent time with God, basking in His glory. It literally radiated off his face. Myasthenia gravis takes your smile, but, it gives you time to spend with a Holy God who chooses you to be His dwelling place.

I GUESS IT SHOWS

I hope so anyway.   Solomon’s temple was  elaborate and outrageously expensive. When he dedicated it, he said, “But will God indeed live with men on the earth?” (2 Chronicles 6:18 WEB)  And God replied in the New Testament that He would dwell in us. We are His temple (1 Corinthians 6:19) . How unbelievable that He would come into our sin-stained lives and fill us with Himself and His glory until it comes shining through to the outside for all the world to see. So for the first time in a long time, I feel beautiful. And if you tell me I look good I will politely say, “Thanks!”  and I’ll mean it.                                            
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31 thoughts on “FEELING BEAUTIFUL

  1. It is a privilege to see Jesus in you. Your life has been one of service for Him and His love comes shining out of you.

  2. Vickie, I love this blog. The response from the lady was perfect! Beauty does come from the inside and is provided by God. You truly are being used by God and one of the most beautiful people I know! I can’t wait to see how God’s plan unfolds as you follow Him. Love and prayers…

  3. Your words are so spot on. You are right when I think of all the beautiful people I know, it has nothing to do with their looks. You are beautiful. Thanks for the inspiration.

  4. I am so glad you added that last part. I recently wrote on a pic of you and your husband that you looked good. I never thought of it like you explained it. You have a heart for God and people that makes you beautiful. Thank you for this blog you have felt led to start.

  5. Dr. Henderson,

    I don’t know if you remember me but you had a profound impact on me during one of the most difficult times of my life dealing with infertility. You were such a blessing to me not only professionally, but spiritually. I always left your office feeling encouraged. And, when things finally worked out for us, you were there to remind me of God’s faithfulness through it all.

    While I am saddened to know what you are dealing with now physically, I have no doubt that God will continue to use you for His honor and glory, and that you will now be an encouragement and a blessing to a different group of people who need you.

    1. Of course I remember you and if I remember correctly God blessed you with a family. I am glad I was able to encourage you and hope that what you said is true: that He will use me for His honor and glory to encourage a different group of people.

  6. I am always telling my beautiful granddaughter as I had told her beautiful mother and aunt. Pretty is as pretty does DO pretty! You are doing Pretty!!!

  7. Your “SONshine” is an inspiration.. here are some of my favorite verses that I use to re-affirm my “SONshine”…
    2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV – So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner
    self is being renewed day by day.
    1 Samuel 16:7 ESV – But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height
    of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man
    looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
    Psalm 34:5 ESV – Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.
    Proverbs 31:25 ESV – Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
    Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV – You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.
    Proverbs 31:30 ESV – Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to
    be praised.
    I love you my beautiful friend!

  8. You have always been beautiful because God has always shown through your face. I think the prettiest picture, I can’t find it now, was a picture of you looking at a young girl, you had the kindest, caring look on your face and it was absolutely beautiful. That’s how you have always looked to me and it reflects through your eyes.

  9. The Word says he will “beautify the meek with salvation.” The beauty of the Lord rests upon his people and he shines through us if we keep a humble and meek spirit, take time to sit at his feet, and bask in his presence. Many spend so much energy trying to beautify this outward man. To God, real beauty is reflected from the inside out. He made us in his image, and he created us exactly like he wanted us to be. We should not seek to alter his creation; rather, reflect Him and allow His light to shine through us.

  10. I’m so encouraged and strengthened by your walk with Jesus on a difficult path. Jesus is def shining through you and beautiful is an understatement!!! Your blog and walk are helping as I walk a part of my journey that is very challenging.

    Sent from my iPhone

  11. Vickie, when I read your blog it is as if I am reading something I have written. Unfortunately, we share the myasthenia gravis diagnosis. Fortunately, God connected us as friends. Thank you for putting into words what I have wanted to share since my 1991 diagnosis. Love you for being strong and in turn helping others like myself stay strong.

  12. You are brave and beautiful, having your life turned right side up is where I am also. Close by God’s side working as a Chaplain. Today I will be applying with Arkansas Hospice. You inspire me and your words help me know how to do my job better. They help me to remember to let my inner Jesus shine through all my imperfections. Thank you for your transparency.

  13. Reading your posts is like reading the Bible in “real time”….you’re an example of what the Lord promises when He tells us He is sufficient. Thank you for showing God’s glory in everyday life. Praying for you, Vickie.

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