It ain’t perfect

It ain't perfect



It may have looked that way, but it never was. I know, I had an exciting career, a wonderful husband, three great kids, and many other things for which I am very grateful. That’s just what you see. There are lots of ugly imperfections you don’t see. I wish everything was perfect, but it’s not. In fact Romans 7:18 is so true, nothing good lives in me. There are plenty of people who can testify to that!


For each of my kids’ high school graduations, I wanted to throw the perfect party and I wanted it outdoors. That’s always risky. When my last child graduated it seemed to finally all come together. Previously, my oldest daughter’s party was assembled in the front yard. Striving for perfection, the yard and flowerbeds were newly manicured. Tables were set up displaying her numerous accomplishments. One table had a gymnastics theme and one had books with academic medals celebrating her academic achievements. There was also a table with cheerleading memorabilia.


My son is a chemistry whiz and majors in chemical engineering. His graduation party had a Pinterest-worthy chemistry theme. We even had a platter of square cookies iced to look like the periodic table of elements. Tables were set out on the lush grass and adorned with flower filled beakers and flasks. The weather was cooperative.


The state soccer tournament was that weekend. His grandparents had a birthday party to attend. While I really appreciate all who were able to attend, there are over one hundred elements in the periodic table. We ate helium and beryllium iced cookies for a long time.


Finally, the weather was beautiful. The tables were set around the pool with gingham pastels. Picture it:   a breakfast buffet complete with a bisquit bar was elegantly displayed. We had plenty of guests who seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves. Everything LOOKED perfect. There is just something I need you to know.


Everywhere. She has a sensitive stomach, and she gobbles her food like she hasn’t eaten in days. Nothing like cleaning up dog vomit before a lovely party to remind you that life is not perfect. When you look at others lives you only see what is on display, not what is in the trashcan. You smell the air freshener, not the stench of the day. We are very good at covering up the ugly stuff in our lives and pretending everything is perfect.


The charades convinced me. They defeated me. For so many years I sat in church thinking that everyone around me had it all together.  When I finally realized that no one seriously did, including myself, it freed me.  I decided it was time to be honest, to be real, to be raw.  My solution to counter the self condemnation that we all struggle with was to share encouragement through teaching.  For several years I taught a women’s class called Heartlifters. My entire motive for teaching was to prove that I didn’t have it all together. Because if you think I do, then we cannot relate.  If you look at anyone and think their life is perfect  you will think yours doesn’t measure up.  Anyone know what I am talking about?  My life has never been perfect, even before being diagnosed with myasthenia gravis.  I suspect yours isn’t either.  I would be willing to bet we’ve all had a little vomit on our parties.

Let’s just admit it and PARTY ON!

“Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus”  Phillipians 3:12  HCSB

18 thoughts on “It ain’t perfect

  1. You said this perfectly! I wish we could all stop comparing our lives to what we perceive is perfection in others lives. We need to just love and encourage each other. You’re very inspiring!

    1. Love it. It made me remember some of my not so perfect parties. Looking back, I have to laugh about them. Why is it we always think others have it together? Better yet, why do we try so hard to make others think we do? Thanks for your honesty. I look forward to your next post.

  2. Why do we do this to ourselves, we all do. You hit a home run with this reflection. Time to let go of perfection. We can only strive to do the best we can but there is so much that is out of our control.

    1. You nailed it! It’s so hard not to compare our lives to others in this modern world with people posting their very best all the time. If we only knew what was going on in “real” life. Thanks for sharing your heart! God has blessed you with so many talents and the gift of writing is another one to add to your list!!

  3. Thank you for sharing reality that all of us struggle with if we are only willing to admit it. You’re an amazing woman & a wonderful “encourager”.

  4. Vickie, that is as real as anyone can be. Thanks!!! For me, I always feel like a failure and loser. I look at everyone else and just wish and pray I could be more like them. Garth Brooks song summed it up for me though, God’s Greatest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers. I am so grateful he hasn’t answered the majority of them. But, for you, I know he has heard mine and hundreds of your friends! He has me confused because he hasn’t answered them yet. However, your situation has already created a new you and I see him more than ever now, through YOU!

  5. Thank you so much for this post. I always thought this for years but finally realized that things are NEVER what they seem. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog.

  6. Excellent blog! I agree wholeheartedly with your message. We are conditioned early in our lives to strive for perfection, but are not taught the balance of self-acceptance and to love ourselves as the wonderful, unique individuals that we are.

  7. Please keep writing!!! God has given you the gift of being transparent, and boy, is He using you!!! Your post was just what I needed today – love you for sharing, for keeping it real, and for allowing God to speak through you.

  8. God has gifted you with the ability to write and so many will be blessed by your blog. I thought of you when I read this scripture this morning: “We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Thess. 1:3)

  9. I am enjoying your blog very much and find your writing to be so very uplifting. This one about perfection definitely hit home with me. I used to think everyone would love me if I did and said everything perfectly. Over the years I have finally come to realize that God loves us even when we mess everything up and I praise Him for that! I always look forward to your posts and I wish you the best with your health issues.

  10. I usually don’t respond to blogs…just read and enjoy them.  But when you mentioned our Sunday School class, I was compelled to share my heart. Ten years ago, my world, as I knew it, fell completely apart. I went through a divorce and God, in His infinite mercy, brought me back up to central AR where I was raised. The Heartlifters class was literally a lifeline to me. I was so broken and just a mess. God used you all to put me back together!  Every Sunday morning, I was welcomed, hugged by many ladies and always encouraged by the lesson and your sweet spirit. You’ll never know what it meant to me and did for me-I’m crying as I’m typing this and  remembering  those days….. I felt so loved, but more importantly, I was reminded on a weekly basis that I was not just a big blob of nothing, but had great value simply because I’m a Child of God.  And here you are now….encouraging me and countless others once again!  I love you, my sister. 🙂                                                                                                                     “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.”  Philippians 1:3

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